A Life of Adventure ~ Lydia Hines

Traveling by sailing ship on the world's oceans and by the "Prairie Schooner" across our continent, Lydia Bryant Hines had a life of adventure.  The following profile of this exceptional Salem woman is condensed from an article in the Pacific Christian Advocate of April, 1870.

In 1830 Lydia Bryant married Gustavus Hines. In the following winter they settled in the woods of Ellicottsville, NY.  Her husband received his first license to preach the gospel, and was appointed by his presiding elder to travel the circuit on which they were living; and she very unexpectedly found cast upon her the responsibilities of the life of a Methodist itinerant preacher's companion. In all her calculations for the future, she had made no reckoning for this and the prospect appalled her.  However she became convinced that the call of the Church was indeed the call of God: and accordingly yielded and prepared herself as best she could.

 Early in the spring of 1839 she was called upon to endure perhaps the most severe trial of her life; the severing of all ties that bound her to the land of her nativity, the committal of herself to the treacherous storms of ocean, and in connection with others, to seek, as a missionary, a far distant home on the then almost unknown shores of the great Pacific. The evening of Oct. 9th, 1839 found her for the first time on the deck of a ship. Nearly eight months of ocean life, during which she was permitted to look in upon Brazil, Chili, and the Sandwich Islands, acquainted her with the lights and shadows of a sea voyage in a crowded vessel. June 1st, 1840 found her at Vancouver, and exchanging the ship Lausanne for a Chinook canoe, by which the waters of Oregon were then navigated, she arrived on the 15th of the same month.

Early in the spring of 1841 it was her lot to occupy a small shanty located near what is called the "old parsonage" in Salem. She often feared that she and her family would fall victims to savage fury—and the more so as she now had under her protection a young and helpless sister. One day, at the dusk of evening, in the fall of the year, while the neighborhood was agitated by rumors of Indian outbreaks, there appeared immediately in front of the parsonage 12 mounted savages of the Molalla tribe, painted in the most hideous and frightful manner, and rushing up into the very dooryard, all dismounted, giving evidence at the same time that their visit was not friendly. Mr. H. went out to meet them, and approaching one who appeared to be their leader, offered him his hand in token of friendship. He refused and immediately the whole band set up a horrid laugh. This demonstration of hostility so alarmed Mrs. Hines that she resolved to take her little sister, and if possible, escape to a house on the north side of Mill Creek, occupied by the families of L. H. Judson and James Olley, (sister of Judson) the only house within many miles. She took a circuitous route for a distance down the little stream running in the rear of the parsonage, so as to keep from the sight of the Indians as long as possible. Sometimes leading little Julia by the hand and at others lifting her in her arms, she struck across the prairie northward, struggling through the tall grass with her precious burden, while expecting every moment to be pursued and feel the violent hand of a savage laid upon her. On reaching the creek, not daring to extend her flight to a footbridge a short distance below, she dashed straight through the current, bearing her sister in her arms. Not being pursued, she gained the house in safety, and collecting all the adults belonging to the families, she returned with them through the darkness to look after the fate of her husband. The savages had in the meantime encamped in [the] rear of the parsonage, where they remained quietly for a few hours, and then before daylight decamped, bearing with them as booty some provisions and a valuable horse, the property of Mr. Hines.

 In the spring of 1842, by the death of Mrs. Jason Lee, the infant daughter, but three weeks old, was taken by Mrs. Hines from the bed where its mother, just deceased, still reposed, and conveyed to her own home. For reasons that need not be inserted in this sketch, Mr. Lee, Mr. and Mrs. Hines and family, left Oregon in Feb. 1844, intending to proceed to the eastern states. But on arriving at Honolulu it was found that there was no sailing for any of the Atlantic ports for several months. It was however ascertained that a small Hawaiian schooner about to sail for Mexico, would take one person on board. And Mr. Lee being exceedingly anxious to proceed, took passage in hope of being able in some way to get from Mexico to New York: while Mr. Hines and family, including Mr. Lee's daughter, decided to return to Oregon. It was here, on the Island of Oahu on the 28th of Feb., 1844, that with flowing tears and words of sympathy and love Mrs. Hines received the daughter from the arms of the weeping father, and made a solemn pledge that all a mother could do for a daughter she would do for the motherless child that then in her heart she adopted as her own. Mrs. Hines with her family returned again to Oregon, and arrived at Oregon City the last of April. Residing there for the best part of two years, she was active in Church interests, but especially in searching out the destitute among the emigrants who crossed the plains, and in affording relief. During the years 1844-5, in company with her husband, she visited every portion of Oregon then occupied by whites, for Missionary purposes, traveling on horseback and in canoes.

Lifeline

In September 1845, it became the duty of Mrs. Hines to leave Oregon again and return to the States. Accordingly, she with Mr. H. and their two adopted daughters bade a second adieu to the wooded mountains of Oregon, and performed another voyage to the Sandwich Islands, where she spent upwards of three months. From the Islands, she had the opportunity of crossing the Pacific Ocean to the coast of China and of spending upwards of two months at Hong Kong, Macao, and Canton. From thence, in the good ship Leeland, the Chinese and Java Seas were traversed, the Straits of Sunday penetrated, the Indian Ocean crossed, the Cape of Good Hope doubled, the Atlantic Ocean again traced, and on the 5th of May the missionary family arrived in safety at New York City. [The anticipated reunion of Lucyanna and her father was not to be: Jason Lee had died at his sister's home just two months before.]

In 1852, very unexpectedly to her husband, she informed him that she would be glad to return again to the Pacific Coast, and there spend the remainder of her days. Sympathizing in this feeling, Mr. Hines asked and obtained a transfer to the Oregon Conference, with the privilege of returning to the country by way of the Plains. The journey across the Plains, which was performed the same year, was one of great interest to Mrs. Hines though attended with great toil and exposure. Their first place of residence after reaching Oregon in October 1853 was on the Vancouver circuit; and in the spring of 1854 by virtue of the appointment of Mr. H. to Salem she became a resident of that city. On this year she received a third orphan [this was Marie Smith] into her family and into her heart. Here, for fourteen years she has had a settled home, though from time to time she has extended her travels to various parts of the State and Washington Territory. In this home she closed her highly useful and eventful life in great peace, March 14th, 1870.
Lydia is buried near the original entrance to Lee Mission Cemetery, a site now unmarked.

The Shadow of Scandal ~ Orpha Carter, Nancy Judson, Almira Raymond

Three of the pioneer women who came to Oregon on the Lausanne in 1840 had lives touched with scandal. Divorce and suicide were rare in those days, but when they happened in a family, community criticism focused on the woman.

The first incidence befell Orpha Lankton Carter in 1850.

In April 1840, the ship Lausanne stopped at Honolulu bound for the Jason Lee Mission on the Willamette River in Oregon. David Carter, a carpenter, at once decided that the opportunity to enter the missionary field was at hand and joined with the others. Shortly after reaching the Oregon country, Carter and Orpha Lankton, one of the fifty missionaries from the ship, were married. When plans were made to construct a mission at The Dalles, the Carters moved to that city, and Mr. Carter worked on the mission buildings as carpenter. Finishing this work, they moved to Oregon City, where their first child was born. Later, they moved to the Jason Lee Mission, and there their second child, Joseph Lankton Carter, was born. In 1846, the family moved to a donation land claim south of Salem, and in 1848, David Carter and a Garrison Bewley went to the goldfields of California. Not finding any great gold stake, Mr. Carter returned to Oregon, and with Joseph Holman, operated the second store to be operated in the town of Salem. Soon thereafter, a large shipment of goods coming by boat to them was wrecked on the famous Peacock Spit, off the mouth of the Columbia River. Believing the goods lost, the store was closed. Carter became depressed ("bound by Satan”, it was said) and hung himself in 1850. Ironically, the family later learned that the goods had been saved.

Carter’s estate was sold at auction, leaving Orpha without support, except for her son. A Union County obituary states, “After the death of his father, Joseph removed with his mother to Brownsville, and from that place to Lebanon. He laid to rest this beloved parent in 1873, cherishing her memory not only as a devoted mother, but as a friend of the lost and ignorant Indians, and of our rising young state, and as a servant of God.”

Lewis Judson was brought to court in 1858.

Almira Roberts of Otsego, New York was married to Lewis Judson on August 13. 1831. She had aspirations of being a missionary and so readily joined her husband for the 1839-40 voyage to Oregon on the Lausanne. Tragically, this young woman of 30 years died four years later, leaving him with four children under the age of 12. Lewis Judson married Nancy Hawkins two years later and they made their residence in the Clatsop community. Nancy filed a petition for divorce with the Oregon Territorial Legislature in 1858 charging physical abuse, mistreatment of the children and fraudulent sale of her father's property.
A copy is seen here as it was printed for testimony:
I humbly Beg of the Legislator of oregon to grant me a bill of divorcement for I cannot live with Mr Judson he misuses me in everry shape he is capable of doing he has knocked me down and scolded me and beemeaned me in everry shape and lyed on me as bad as any one could lly on another and does not Provide for me Nor the family as he aught to do But has squandered all that father has givin mee and has squandered every thing wee have in the world and has mortgaged my land and his and it is all gone and he is not able to support me nor the Children neither is he capable of takin care of us the children are ragged and go not fit to bee seen and have to depend on the Neigbors for their bread and do not get mutch of that I have not lived with Mr Judson since the first of last December Ad 1857 from that time to this I have had to support my self as best I could and the children has been Poorly taken care of for they have had to take care of them selves in a maner that is too of them for I have one of them with me sending him to scool the yongest a little boy the other too is down at Clatsap where he keeps them have stalved and half naked My Children has never bee to school of any consiquenc and he never will sene them I have three children one little girl 10 years olde the 10 day of next december one boy 12 years olde 22 of February next the yongest is alittle boy 7 years olde the 26 day of may next and he knows more than all the rest for I have been sendding him to school ever since wee parted Now if it will please your honerble boddy to give me a bill and give me the Children I will every Pray ec
I ever remain your humble friend
Mrs Nancy Judson

Nancy won her divorce and, with one of their three children (William Henry, Nancy Elmira, Lewis Leslie), went to live with her sister and brother-in-law, Martha and John Boon. This caused the Boon family to be severely criticized by the Salem town folk who regarded Nancy as the party at fault in the divorce. Her residence was the Boons did not last long as she married Edward H. Staples in May of 1859. Her fate is unknown, but it is a persistent rumor (among her own family) that she later joined a circus.

Almira David Raymond charged her husband with adultery in 1864.

The Raymonds arrived in Oregon on the Lausanne and when the mission moved to Salem, moved into the residence now known as the Jason Lee House where Almira was housekeeper. She had been a teacher and perhaps also served in this capacity. There was trouble between William Willson and Almira's husband, W. W. Raymond that was settled in 1846 when he sold his claim moved to Clatsop Plains where he became a Sub Indian Agent. Between 1849 and 1880, Almira wrote letters to her family in Amsterdam, New York and to her sister, reflecting the hardships of frontier life as farmers-missionaries.

Here is one example:

"Tansy Point Oregon Feb. 20, 1852

Dear Sister (Adaline)

I have often thought I would give a few particulars of my history in this country but time and opportunity has failed untill now I seem to have a little time. I have a young babe 3 weeks old. My husband has gone up the river to Portland and Dayton to attend to his publick business and get supplies for the family and I am left with an Indian boy and my children. Sometimes get a little lonesome as I am not able to work or get about much yet but think I am gaining now. We who rais families in this country have had much to do. We have had 9 children in 13 years. In bearing these I have suffered much. I have never been less 24 hours in child birth and generally 48. My life has been despaired of a number of times. Twice I have been delivered by artificial means and the children died at both times. My husband has been my only nurse and he has done all he could for me. It has been as hard for him as for me. The Lord has brought me through a sene of trials and difficulties. I could not have believed I could have passed through but I trust they have been for my good.

Almira A. Raymond.

In 1864, Almira brought a suit for divorce against Raymond in which both Almira and her children testify to his physical abuse and his adultery with Elmira Phillips who boarded with them. 

After the divorce, Raymond and Elmira Phillips married.

Almira continued living the Clatsop area and perhaps earned her living as a nurse. Her last letter was written to her sister in 1880:

My health is very poor at present. [she describes a serious condition, perhaps cancer.] I am poorer in flesh than when I wrote last and feel much weakness. I had hopes of seeing you in this world but I have given that up now, but we will be sure to meet in heaven. I feel sorry to think that you suffer so much you are feeble as well as I am. I suffer so much at times. My youngest daughter is staying with us this winter. Nathan my son is surveying. The Lord is with me. In Him I put my trust. Give my love to all. I wrote to Ira [her brother] but have received no reply.

Your loving sister

Almira A. Raymond.

 These have been collected as Westward to Oregon : diary and letters of Almira David Raymond, and W.W. Raymond, Oregon pioneers with Rev. Jason Lee.

At Home on Court Street ~ Almira Holman & Chloe Willson

In 1867, the imposing brick Waller Hall, facing State Street, joined the 1844 Oregon Institute as representing the Willamette University campus ~ the cultural beginning of Salem. To the north, between State and Court streets, the imposing classic Oregon State House was the center of the city's political life. Willson Park adjoined the capitol building on the west, as it does today. On the north side of Court, there arose the fine homes of Salem's earliest social leaders. Two of these matrons were women who come on the Lausanne as teachers in the mission community.

Local legend recalls that as 26 year-old Almira Phelps came down the gangplank, Joseph Holman, just arrived overland, commented, "That's the girl I'm going to marry!" And so he did a year later. Their first home was a cabin on the shores of Mill Creek (the Clements house at Chemeketa and 14th is there now) where he built the first bridge across that creek. She remained in missionary work for a few years after their marriage while he worked for the Methodist enterprises. Paid in stock, he was able to purchase enough land to become a flax grower and breeder of sheep. By 1857, his Holman Building at the corner of Ferry and Commercial, was a political and commercial center. He moved Almira to a Court Street residence (above) on his many-acres property. Their son George and daughter, Mary Holman Albert, had adjoining homes on the block between Cottage and Winter streets. Two other daughters died in young adulthood. 

Almira's 1871 obituary is typical of the time and place:

"She was married to her now bereaved husband, Mr. Joseph Holman, May 6th, 1841. Sister H., having the advantage of a liberal education, received at the Wilbarham Academy, in her native State, was not only qualified to teach the heathen, but also to take her place in the front ranks of Christian civilization, and in the growth and development of the country, may be seen on all sides monuments of Christian enterprise in which her hands have been busied in founding and supporting. 

The M. E. Church in Salem, the Willamette University and the Orphans’ Home have all shared in her liberality. In her religious views, she was a thorough Methodist, endorsing fully the doctrine of a higher life - the power of Christ to save now from all sin. She not only believed this doctrine, but professed to experience its power to save her. 

Her death was occasioned by congestion of the brain, which so affected her mind that she could not converse intelligently much of the time. On one occasion, when consciousness had returned, in answer to the inquiry of her son if she did not think she would get better, she replied, 'Not until I get up to heaven.' To a friend who entered her room, she said, 'I am almost over.' At 9½ o’clock, on the evening of October 16th, she fell asleep in Jesus. Peace to her memory."

Her home was demolished for the Max Buren residence that, in turn, was demolished for the present buildings of the Presbyterian Church.

When the Lausanne missionary teachers arrived in Oregon, Chloe Clark was sent to a new mission station at Nisqually on Puget Sound where she learned enough of her students’ language to communicate.  Chloe and William Willson became acquainted and were married a month later.   In the next spring, they were moved to another station at Willamette Falls (Oregon City).  These were discouraging times:  her failure to change the way of life she found among native children; William's health, which did not seem sturdy enough for the heavy carpentry work; the serious differences that arose among the missionaries and laymen.  By late spring of 1844, Chloe and William had been asked to move to the settlement at Chemeketa Plains where Chloe had been chosen to open the Oregon Institute in the former Indian Manual Labor School, becoming their first teacher and housemother.  The next three years brought many changes beginning with the school's decision to lay out a city on the school's land and sell lots.  By 1846 the town was being called Salem.  Adjacent claims included those of William, who would serve on the school board. William built for them on the riverfront - at the present Front, Ferry-Trade Streets.  In 1848, as Oregon was transformed into a Territory, Chloe became the mother of a daughter, Frances.  Chloe wrote: "My heavenly father has increased my responsibilities by committing to my charge a lovely daughter".  Somewhat later she added this prayer, "My dear Frances is beginning to require correction and wholesome discipline... I look to Thee for help, O my Father ".  Two other daughters, Laurabelle and Kate Augusta Lee, were born in 1851 and 1855.  Before the last daughter was born, William was building an Elizabethan-style cottage on the northeast corner of Court and Capitol streets (above), not far from the new Territorial Capitol building, itself built on land donated by the Willsons.  In 1856, William died of a heart attack.  Chloe was a widow after only 16 years of marriage.  

Chloe returned to the east after his death and for some years opened her home to students.  She returned to Salem in 1863, serving in a position similar to dean of Women.  In a lecture given at Willamette University (former Oregon Institute) in the next year, she defined a "Sphere of Women" as "...not the Halls of Legislature, the Bar or the Pulpit - but the sweet Paradise of home - the refined social circle... to mold character"  She reminded the young women that "the training which you here receive is not to elevate you above your sphere, or to remove you from it, but to qualify you to move in it with ease, grace and dignity".

            By 1871 Chloe moved to the Portland home of her daughter and son-in-law, Frances and Joseph Gill, where she died three years later in the year of 1874. She was 56. Her home was sold to Willamette University where it became Lausanne Hall, a women's dormitory. It was demolished in 1921 for the present building of the same name. A auto service station now occupies the site of Chloe's home.

Women of Property ~ Elepha Waller, Adelia Leslie and Elizabeth Parrish

In the distribution of Salem land ~ either by the mission or by donation land claims ~ several missionaries and their Lausanne wives, obtained considerable property.

Waller-Chamberlain House as it appears today

In 1833 Elepha White married Alvan Waller, a circuit riding preacher of the Genessee Conference in NY.  In 1840, the family, including the two children Mary and Beverly accompanied him to Oregon on the Lausanne. After building the mill and the earliest buildings at Chemeketa, he was assigned to Willamette Falls and then to the Dalles. The threat of  Indian attacks forced the missionaries to race down the Columbia to Oregon City where he purchased a wagon in order to return with his family to the community now called Salem. He was deeded a square mile of land. (From 12^th Street east including the original Lee Mission Cemetery and from Mill Creek south to Mill Street.) A son recalled the family living on their farmland raising vegetables, hay and fruit, much of which went to support the Methodist Church and community. Alvan Waller’s subsequent contributions to the Oregon Institute (Willamette University), to the construction of the original Methodist Church and to the founding of the Pacific Christian Advocate were outstanding. Of Elepha's five children, two sons were lost, one by typhoid and the other by accident. Alvan died in 1872 after catching a cold during a storm when he was attempting to board up the church during its construction.

Elepha survived her husband by a decade, living with her daughter, Julia Stratton, in a fine Queen Anne style house that replaced the original Waller residence. (The Stratton House, now a National Register property, is located at 1588 State Street). When the daughter moved to California, Elepha accompanied her and died there in 1881. Her own home had been moved by Martin Chamberlin, whose sister was married to A. O. Waller, the son of Alvan and Elepha.  The Waller house (seen above) was relocated to the corner of 17^th and State, then in 1913-16 to its present location at 1658 Court Street in the Court-Chemeketa Historic Residential District where it is known as the Waller-Chamberlin House.

The Leslie house as it appeared in the original location

Adelia Judson, a sister of Lewis Judson, had planned to come to Oregon with her husband, Robert Turkington in 1837. After his death, she petitioned her brother to take her with his family, but was refused ~ he had many responsibilities of his own. Just a few days before the Lausanne sailed, she met the only bachelor on the list of passengers, James Olley, and married him. (Details unknown!) Two year after they arrived in Oregon, he drowned.  Her third husband (1844) was the widower David Leslie. Adelia had two daughters during this marriage, Sarah and Emma, but both died by the age of six. After the Leslie property was sold to Asahel Bush in 1860, their house (seen here in an early drawing) was occupied by the Bush family until they moved it to the corner of Cottage and Mission streets. Bush House Museum now stands at this location. The Leslie family relocated to the address seen in obituary below.

Adelia's 1890 obituary gives us a glimpse of her personality as reflected in her time:

"At her home, corner of Cottage and Center streets, in this city, Monday evening at 6:45, from a paralytic stroke, Mrs. Adelia J. Leslie, aged 78 years. The death of this beloved woman will be sad news to her many friends who have looked upon her with pride and admiration for the past forty years. She was a devoted christian woman and it was her highest ambition to do some christian act, to aid those in want, or to do some benevolent deed that was instrumental in doing someone good. She came around Cape Horn in 1839, from Vermont, as a missionary teacher, sailed up the Columbia River in 1840 and began her work in that portion of the country known as Missouri bottom. Her name was then Mrs. Adelia Ollie. She was a devoted worker in the cause she came west to labor for and was for several years on of the main teachers. In the 50's [1844] she was united in marriage to Rev. David Leslie … and took up a donation land claim where Hon. A. Bush now resides...[since Rev. Leslie's death in 1866] Mrs. Leslie has resided upon the homestead at the corner of Cottage and Center streets. Mother Leslie, as she was familiarly known, has always enjoyed splendid health, but for years has been quite feeble, as she was becoming more aged. Saturday afternoon she made a friendly call on a neighbor and afterward went and took tea with Rev. Rollins and family. About 6 o'clock she departed for home, notwithstanding Rev. Rollins and his wife insisted that she board a streetcar, which would take her to her door. It seems that the good mother did not go directly home, but to Rev. J. Parrish's and remained until quite late when she started home. About one o'clock Sunday afternoon a young lady stopping at Prof. Arnold's called upon Mother Leslie's and upon opening the door was horrified to see the aged mother lying prostrated upon the sitting room floor. She gave the alarm and a number of neighbors came in to render what assistance was possible. She was unconscious when found and despite all efforts never regained consciousness and died at 6:45 yesterday evening. Mrs. Leslie has always had several young ladies boarding with her, but on Saturday evening the ladies were absent and no one was at the house. How long she remained in the condition as when found, is hard to ascertain, but from all probabilities she must have remained on the floor at least fifteen hours. The funeral will be conducted Wednesday at 10 a. m. from the Methodist church, the remains being interred in the I.. O. O. F. cemetery. "

The Parrish house as it appeared on Capitol Street

Elizabeth Winn Parrish already had three children when she arrived in Oregon on the Lausanne, one more was born here. With her husband Josiah, a blacksmith and licensed preacher, they made an early home among the four couples who lived in the first house built in Salem, now known as the Jason Lee House. Eventually, Josiah obtained a square mile of land ~ essentially the northeast section of the growing city. This land surrounded his Capitol Street home, built about 1860. (This house, seen above in a 1890s photograph, is now located on Water Street and is a part of the A. C. Gilbert Discovery Village.) They donated the land on which was built the Glen Oak orphans' home, now the site of one of the buildings of the state hospital.

In January of 1869, Elizabeth donated 4.77 acres from her half of their original donation land claim to make up the original part of Lee Mission cemetery.  The cemetery was incorporated by the state of Oregon on January 27. Later that year, Elizabeth died of a “lingering illness” and the obituary gave a description of her steadfast character and her works of community service in that Methodist society:

"Mrs. Parrish has, with others, endured the hardships and perils incident to this then, far off, barbarous, and almost unknown land; many a pioneer has shared the hospitality of her house, while her hands have ministered to their necessities; these on hearing of her death, will drop a tear over the memory of past scenes. As a woman, she possessed a strong mind and commanding mien; a sound discriminating judgment, and a kind heart.  As a wife, Mrs. Parrish reverenced her husband, in her, his heart could trust; she did him good, and not evil, all the days of her life, she looked well to her household, and ate not the bread of idleness.  Her adorning was modest, not that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and wearing of gold, or putting on extravagant and gaudy apparel; but [wearing} the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God, of great price.
  As a mother, few children, if any, ever had a better than her `They will arise up and call her blessed,' and long will they cherish the memory of her motherly affection, and the words of wisdom and kindness which fell from her lips.  As a friend, she was true and could be implicitly confided in; as a neighbor, always obliging; as a Christian, Sister Parrish's religious experience was comforting and clear, and every where, she adorned her Christian profession.  To the sick within her reach, she was ever ready to administer comfort and aid.  She clothed the naked, and fed the hungry.  She blessed the orphan and wiped his tears.  She sympathized with suffering humanity, and relieved it.  She was the President of the Ladies Christian Commission Society of Salem, and among others gave of her means to relieve the wounded and suffering soldiers.   She was also President of the Children's Aid Society, and did much to promote its interests.  In her last sickness, Sister Parrish suffered as a Christian, patiently trusting in God to the last, and was sustained.  She talked freely of her passage to the heavenly state; just on the brink of the 'stream' she said, 'It is but a step over, just a step, and those on the other shore are waiting to welcome me.'"